One of the main targets of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is experiential avoidance. In its simplest form, experiential avoidance is our attempt avoid or get rid of any uncomfortable or painful thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, etc. You may be thinking – well what’s wrong with that? Why would anyone choose to experience those things?!
Feeling all the Feels
Enduring challenging situations and the barrage of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions that come with it is exactly what makes us human (sorry). Choosing to deny this very human experience means engaging in experiential avoidance. It may provide temporary relief, however, experiential avoidance maintains our distress in the long run. Examples of experiential avoidance include shutting down, disconnecting from relationships, stress eating, unnecessary shopping, substance abuse, self-harm, etc. Essentially, it is any behavior one engages in with the intent turn off the uncomfortable emotion.
The Struggle Switch
ACT guru, Russ Harris, talks about the concept of the struggle switch in relation to experiential avoidance. Essentially, when the struggle switch is on, we are spending a lot of time and energy judging and suppressing our emotions. We decide that the uncomfortable emotion is not acceptable which piles on additional negative thoughts and emotions. For example, anxiety can be triggered and then before you know it, you are worried about experiencing anxiety, then mad at yourself for not controlling it, and the sad that you must deal with it. Finally, you get so frustrated you engage in a self-defeating behavior and then all the sudden feel guilty about that. The initial anxiety, which could have been experienced and processed, is then amplified.
Expansion as the Antidote to Experiential Avoidance
Since we are going to experience uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and sensations, we might as well accept them. Instead of wasting energy fighting them (often a losing battle), the better option is to open up and make room for them. This is known as expansion. While it may sound scary, expansion actually reduces the intensity of the experiences and makes sure we don’t reexperience the same issue in the future. Making room for the discomfort allows it to move through us as opposed to getting stuck.
In ACT, there are certain things you can do to facilitate expansion. First, you must observe the experience. In this step, you get to be curious about your emotions instead of controlled by it. Assess any sensation you are experiencing from head to toe – describe the sensation without judgment (i.e., I feel a knot in my stomach). Once you notice and describe the sensation, name it with the appropriate emotion.
The next step involves breathing around and creating space for the emotion. Deep breathing can help relax it. While this won’t get rid of the emotion, it will help provide a level of calm and stability to help you move forward. Once you start breathing around the feeling, imagine yourself creating space for it, allowing it to move through you. The final key to expansion is to allow the experience – or simply let it be. Allow yourself to experience a moment of discomfort knowing that the feeling will not last forever.
Expansion Leads to Action
Now, I understand that willing experiencing pain doesn’t sound like a fun endeavor. It also isn’t the only process for dealing with your emotions. Accepting your internal experience primes you for effective action. By starting with the skill of expansion, it will help you get to a place where you can implement positive coping skills and make decisions which are in line with your values as opposed to self-destructive.
Interested in learning ways to process your emotions instead of fighting with them? Individual Therapy is a great place to start!